Life happens, a pen is enough

Do I deserve to hold a pen on a paper. The thing I mean was am I worth it of writing something aside from study purpose. 

Maybe I am NOT. But I really want to be as one of some. So, I decided to write for the first time. ABOUT... Why not ABOUT a person I wanted to talk with or ABOUT a thing that I wanted to have with me constantly or ABOUT a moment or a incident I mesmerized or vice versa. I went silent for a spell of seconds. Then, I take the pen and start to write as;

To my life, 

I can still remember the first time I realized that I am living a life, yes it's you. For a moment, I forgot who I am and left behind who I am and just empty out everything. Instead, just be me. 

"I NEVER WANTED ANYTHING FROM YOU"

If I say so, I would be lying. In fact, That would be my biggest lie that I ever did. I wanted, I always wanted. I just could never bring the words out. My voice falling, my heart breaking and my soul shattering. I want something from you, but what I wanted from you. I don't know yet. I am still wonder and I still want. 

I want to live. 

I want to live every moments. Those beautiful and even painful times I went through. I want a to live with no regrets, with no guilt and with no pity. All of these are hoping to inspire and to be inspired. 

I wanted to be single, yet attached. Alone, yet accompanied. I want everything and even nothing. If can, all at once, From the little things to the biggest things. 

Can one out of billions could be all these in a single lifetime. I don't know yet, but I certainly want to know.